Not Dead Yet

When last we left our heroes, Fly-by-night Inc. was in a tremendous nosedive. Would they manage to pull out of it, rising to the occasion against all odds to right what was wrong and seize victory from the arms of defeat thereby taking us to the promise land? Or would apathy and gross incompetence prevail, sending the accelerating fireball crashing to its explosive and ultimate doom?

Somewhere in between.

Today was the previously announced drop-dead date for the company. If the magic money from the magic investors did not arrive by today, the doors were supposed to be closed and those of us remaining would be sent packing. Sure enough, the money did not arrive. However, we were not sent packing. The apathy seems to be not quite rampant enough. Don't get me wrong here -- us wily engineers stopped working earlier this week, but our hapless leaders are still trying to work deals that will keep the company alive.

I cleared out my office.

This situation offers an interesting risk-reward proposition. If I continue remain employed and show up at the office semi-regularly, the back pay will continue to accrue. I do not have to do any work, mind you, just show up. One might claim this to be grossly unprofessional and generally a slimy thing to do. I though that for a moment also. However, what the company really needs is not to have the product further developed; no, what is needed are human props for when they bring potential investors through the office and try to say with a straight face "oh yeah, you should give us millions of dollars -- we're a sure thing!" They have to have butts in the seats and something resembling computer code on the screen. So what will I be doing, you ask? I will be doing two things. Number one, I will be trying to find someone to pay me to do something. The big number two is that I will be working for my company -- you know, the one I started with J. Thanks, Fly-by-night, for sponsoring my new business. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


So that's the upside. The downside is that it is very likely that all this back pay being accrued will never be paid. I've got a bead on a couple contract opportunities to hedge my bet. If I don't land one of those bye bye house of sausage, hello top ramen.

My mood about all of this has oscillated wildly from shitting-my-pants-scared to giddy-with-excitement. Period of oscillation: ten minutes. At this minute, the needle points to pleased-that-everyday-will-be-like-the-weekend-for-the-foreseeable-future. I'm sure that at about 5 a.m. it will be where it has been for the last week solid: get-out-of-bed-[fucker]-and-work-or-you-will-starve.

No pressure though.

Nosedive

Before I get to today's update, I would like to first like to recall my company's most egregious use of capital: a promotional video titled Spy Another Day. The film stars Gary Coleman and John Lovitz. Sadly the video no longer seems to be available on the intarweb; I may be able to commit some corporate espionage and get it posted on youtube. Stay tuned. To the point though, we actually retained Gary "what'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis" Coleman and John "SNL Alum" Lovitz for this thing. Okay, these aren't necessarily a-list guys, but this isn't exactly a fortune 500 company either. Oh, and check this out. How much do you think it costs to rent out a Las Vegas nightclub during CES? Answer: a lot [sigh].

So, the update. Today, Fly-by-night Inc. decided that out of all possible moves it could make, reducing the staff by fifty percent would be the best choice. Yup, you heard right; half my company got axed this morning. I can now count everyone in the company on two hands and one foot. I'm actually the right middle finger.

To be honest, the RIF was probably the right move for the company. If the company does get more money, it can't afford to burn as fast as it has been. If only the execs would stop lighting their cubans with hundred dollar bills...

In my short career, I've been through about a dozen layoffs/rifs/black-fridays/corporate-purge-fests. I've never been under the guillotine, but nonetheless every time one happens there are different emotions at play. Fear and anger characterized the first several layoffs I went through. I was young and inexperienced then and I had a lot to loose and nowhere to go. There were a couple where I felt sad -- both for my coworkers and for myself. When the old company laid off a bunch of dudes fresh out of college from all over the country after about two months, that was sad. They were certainly sad, and then I got a way uncomfortable sobby hug from a male coworker -- then I was sad. After that one, I got numb to the whole thing. The last five or six, I just have not cared except to the extent that my job got suckier because of the mess left from all the dropped balls.

Today though, I felt a new and interesting feeling; I felt a little cheated. Everyone who got laid off today had already proven themselves as a cut above the dead wood that got chopped in the last few layoffs. If at the end of next week my company doesn't miraculously get a big pile of money, it will liquidate quite violently. Here's where the "cheated" comes into play: these guys got a head start! Those fuckers are going to scoop up all the good jobs in the valley while I'm still lending unsecured credit to the rapidly descending fireball that is my company. Dammit.

Speaking of my company, that phrase is now ambiguous. As of today, J. and I are now proud co-owners of a new limited liability company in the state of Utah. That's right kids, I'm the boss. We're all super official too. We've got a name, sales tax id, federal employer id, Utah business id, articles of organization, and a spiffy domain name for our company website. Besides having to know you have to get all these things, getting all these things is fairly easy and we got it done for well under a hundred bucks. Not too shabby.

I wish I could afford this to be the full-time gig, but alas, I'm not sufficiently independently wealthy to pull that off. Until my employer can cobble together payroll, the nascent baby of unlimited potential is going to get priority over the plunging fireball.